My Trip to the Moon

I recently took a road trip to the moon. Ok, not really the real moon, not the one in the sky. We have the same thing though; the eastern side of Montana. The further east I went, and the farther I got from the mountains, the more I thought; I’m on the moon, on a highway. The nice thing about Eastern Montana is you don’t actually have to wear a space suit, unless you want to, it would help to keep the ticks from biting. I didn’t wear one; I just picked the little buggers off. They probably just wanted to hitch a ride out of there to some place nice.

Not a lot of people live out there, or even go through there. If you catch up to a Subaru trying to clog up the road, just pass it, you can see there are no on-coming cars for as far as the eye can see. Subaru drivers must be very frustrated that they can’t get a long line of cars behind them out there on the moonscape, like they can on a winding mountain road. Every once in awhile a car will come from the other direction, you can pretend it’s an asteroid on a collision course, to break the monotony of staring at the horizon. I always just kept a straight course; I’m cool, calm, and a level headed kind of guy. You might ask, if I’m so level headed, why was I driving to the middle of nowhere? I had to; my daughter was getting married in Glendive.

The pioneers that founded Glendive knew that their town would always be small, remote, and ugly, so they put the word dive right in the name. Besides, Glen was kind of a weird name for a town. Nearby is Miles City, it is not miles, or a city. It is many, many, miles from any city, maybe that’s what they meant. However, there is lots of green grass, for now, till it turns brown, in the hot scorching sun. The cactus will still be green, so there’s that. Another nice thing about Glendive is there are no mountains around to block your view of the air. I mean, how many times have I stood in awe at a high craggy peak, covered with snow in June, and just wished it wasn’t there so I could see the air behind it? I can’t count the times.

They do have trees, which they have planted, to block the wind. I suppose this would block their view of the air, but still, some air gets through and tries to blow their houses away. In the badlands, which is appropriately named, there are a lot of ups and downs. You can get some views of the ups and downs by standing on one of the ups. They are pretty. So is the real moon. The ground is filled with buried dinosaur fossils. Even the dinosaurs didn’t want to live out there. I think they died of boredom; there are other theories on why they died out, but not worth mentioning here. Finding fossils is cool; this is one advantage over the real moon.

If you hike around in the badlands you will probably find fossils, or pieces of fossils. If you don’t know what to look for or don’t want to traipse up and down and around sink holes that you can’t see the bottom of, you can go to one of the many museums in the area. I went to two. One is at the Makoshika State Park. This is the largest state park in the state, understandably so, there is so much more moon surface they could have added. It is not named after some Japanese guy. It is not pronounced like it looks either, but I can’t tell you how to actually pronounce it because when I look at Makoshika, I say it just like it looks and the actual pronunciation will not come to mind. But I think it’s an Indian word, which loosely translated means; this land is bad, let’s get out of here. But they got lost in the ups and downs and said Makoshika so many times the name stuck.

The museum there isn’t a very big exhibit, so if you have small kids, you can get through it fast. Or you can go right on out into the park and find your own fossils, which you are supposed to leave where you find them so that erosion will destroy them in a year or two. Go figure. The other museum I went to was the Glendive Dinosaur and Fossil Museum on the corner of Merrill Ave and State Street. Glendive is small enough that if you drive through it you will see signs for the park, or the actual museum, so don’t worry about trying to find them.

The Glendive Dinosaur and Fossil Museum is really great. There’s a Tyrannosaurus Rex breaking through the front wall. If you have little kids, they will love it because there are actual helpful people who work there who will engage them with questions and tell them there are hidden things in the exhibit to find, like lizards, and butterflies. It was great fun, I couldn’t find them all, or at least not before my twelve year old did. The exhibits are world class, not at all what you would expect to find in a town with dive in its name, in the middle of nowhere. I was in Glendive for a wedding, but the fossils were nice too.

My daughter got married in Makoshika State Park, high up on one of the ups, (remember the ups and downs?) Some group built an A-frame up there, which is private and can be rented. The marriage ceremony was very country, the bridesmaids, and bride, wore cowboy boots. The bridesmaids wore red dresses, short enough to show their boots. The groomsmen and groom wore cowboy boots, with a red shirt, no ties, and blue jeans. The same for the groom, except a white shirt. Then after the ceremony one guest locked his keys inside his truck. This delayed the music because the D.J.’s wife was bringing tools to break into the truck because the D.J. is also a tow truck driver. They all drove trucks. I think I was the only one that drove a car, having come from a civilization. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many trucks, per capita. My daughter and her new husband own three trucks, no cars. They all have to be big trucks over there too; the tires should come to the top of a regular car. I think maybe the tire shop has a car, just to use as a gauge.

After the D.J. got the truck unlocked, they danced all night to country music. I danced with my daughter, she cried, and not because I stepped on her feet. I told her she should have played It’s a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong, which is only two minutes long, instead of a song about a little girl and her daddy. So it was all a great success and now I have a son-in-law.The next day I drove back to civilization, and more importantly, to mountains.

I have always lived in the mountains. I have a daughter old enough to be married, that’s how long I’ve lived in the mountains. Mountains to me are not only beautiful but they stand there like a steadfast friend, always beckoning to come and play. And when you don’t have time to play, they stand there and offer protection. Not that they actually provide a lot of protection, but it’s comforting just the same. Maybe the badlands aren’t so bad, maybe it was a lack of protection I felt, and lack of protection I could give to my daughter, whose protection is now fully in the good hands of another. They have three trucks, so they should be ok.